Meet Emily McCaffery

Confident, Happy, Vibrant, Positive.

My Mother in Law has worn Lilly since the beginning. She was the one who started getting me Lilly and it is something that we share. She doesn’t have a daughter so it is her getting to live out her dream of dressing a girl when she buys me and now our daughter clothing. She is even talking about getting matching dresses for New Year’s this year. This would be our first matching set. I will gladly match with my 80 year old MIL and daughter for her to live out that dream.

I was diagnosed in November 2020, and at first I felt like I was doing all of this on my own because of Covid. Then I leaned into the community of Lilly lovers on Instagram that would distract me and make me feel like I was not alone while sitting for hours at a time. In fact, the day after finding out I had breast cancer, someone on Instagram (shout out to @aleahjaneinlilly!) helped me find the BCRF Print with Purpose Weekender Leggings from last year.

The one word that helped me through all of this was “curable”. My surgeon, Dr. Torstenson, used this during their first appointment and this was definitely one of the most encouraging things I heard and held onto during my treatments. Also, I would wear Lilly to every appointment and it provided non-cancer/light-hearted conversations with my oncologist, Dr. Graff. She would say, “Here comes my Lilly girl” and was the first one that sparked Lilly conversations during my treatment.

My kids played a big role in this part in terms of staying positive. They were the reason that I pulled myself out of bed and fought the hardest I could every single day. We lived those months up doing all kinds of crazy science experiments, learning together, having dance parties, and spending 24/7 together. My husband was another BIG part of this. He always tells me that I am a fighter and I didn’t want to leave him as a single dad. I had to fight to be there for him and my kids.

One step/day at a time. Hang on to the positives and live life to the fullest. The journey is much easier when you break it down into chunks and conquer those chunks. Those little victories throughout add up and as the journey goes on for a while, those little victories feel as though they are BIG victories. Celebrate anything and everything. Throw a party when you finish chemo or make it through surgery. Do something each day that brings a smile to your face even if it is one of the hard days. Enjoy each day that you are given and live it out to the fullest. Find the sunshine in each and everyday….. even if it is 30 below zero.

Check yourself regularly. The saying in the Breast Cancer Community is “Feel ‘em on the First”. The more that women know their bodies and are aware of how their breasts feel and look, the easier it is to spot changes and advocate for treatment and tests. One in Eight women are diagnosed with Breast Cancer and many of the women diagnosed before 40 seem to be diagnosed with the more aggressive types of breast cancer. Know your boobs!

For supporters, I would say the biggest thing that they can do is spend quality time with those that are fighting. Quality time can come in many different forms. Fixing dinner for their family, building a puzzle, sending a card or note to tell them you are thinking about them or how much they mean to you, sending a thoughtful plant (my childhood best friend researched a specific plant that meant strength and perseverance and sent it with a sweet note), talking on the phone and calling often to check on them, doing something they love to do but you may not enjoy. It could also be spending time with their kids so the loved one can rest and recover, loving on their kids to make them not feel so alone or like they are being denied attention, sending activities/ books for them to do together, watching the kids so that the couple can spend time together not doing medical things. Time is something that we can’t get back. If your loved one is fighting, use that time wisely and in a fashion that you and they will remember. They could be gone and you don’t want to regret not spending time with those that you love.

One of the most meaningful things that someone did for me, was make a donation to a local cancer support group in honor of my fight. I remember reading that letter from that family member and crying so hard. I couldn’t believe that they took the time and effort to do something so meaningful.